How to discreetly breastfeeding in public without cover
If you’re a new mom and not comfortable nursing in public, it’s easy to feel isolated. In this blog, I’ll share tips on how to discreetly breastfeed your newborn in public, with or without a cover.
Is nursing in public normal?
Before I gave birth, I often wondered how I would manage breastfeeding in public. Opinions on this topic vary widely across generations, cultures, and subcultures. I asked myself, why shouldn’t it be normal to breastfeed your baby when they’re hungry, even in public spaces?
Is it normal, though? In Sue Cox’s book Breastfeeding with Confidence, she estimates that nearly two-thirds of mothers worldwide breastfeed in public. What is considered normal differs greatly depending on where you live. In the global south, breastfeeding in public is more accepted. But even in places where discreet public breastfeeding is uncommon, it’s worth asking, why shouldn’t it be?
In some countries, breastfeeding in public is more common, but no country has completely banned it. In more conservative cultures, there are rooms in public places where mothers can nurse and change their babies.
Many Western countries have laws that explicitly support the legal right of mothers to breastfeed in public. These laws align with the WHO’s recommendations to promote breastfeeding. Internationally, there are goals to increase breastfeeding rates. Even if those goals aren’t fully met, there’s been a 10% increase in babies breastfeeding at six months compared to a decade ago. Breastfeeding is not just a legal right—it’s a human right.
Why are some people against breastfeeding in public?
There are many arguments, but none of them seem very convincing to me. This study highlights some interesting factors that research found are hindering women from breastfeeding in public. Below, I’ve listed four common arguments I hear often.
People don’t want to see exposed breasts
Let’s start with the obvious. People who oppose (even discreet) breastfeeding in public are often upset by the sight of breasts. When you feed your newborn, you may need to help them latch, which can result in some exposure of your breast. The main argument from these critics is that they cannot focus on whatever they’re doing when distracted by a woman’s breast. You could argue this point is invalid if you’re discreetly breastfeeding in public, possibly even using a cover.
The issue stems from the sexualisation of the breast. For years, Facebook banned pictures of mothers breastfeeding simply because they showed an uncovered breast—even if the baby’s head covered the nipple. Now, their guidelines encourage mothers to breastfeed and share their experience, which is a positive shift.
In my opinion, it’s absurd that women’s breasts are everywhere in movies, ads, and magazines, yet as soon as someone shows their breast for what it’s actually made for, people start complaining. A study found that even when women are ‘allowed’ to breastfeed in public, they’re still expected to do so discreetly, with as little exposure as possible. This reflects how societal norms around sexual activity and sexual conduct shape our views on public nudity and breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding should be a moment between mother and child
Another argument I’ve heard multiple times is that breastfeeding in public should be avoided because it’s considered a private bonding moment between mother and child. Some believe that feeding in public, whether discreetly or not, ruins this special moment meant only for the mother and child, especially with members of the public around.
I didn’t do it so no one should
Another argument I hear often is: “I (or in some cases my wife) never breastfed in public.” The idea behind such responses is that it’s not necessary to breastfeed in public, so it’s something you shouldn’t bother others with. Unfortunately, these negative comments can reinforce unnecessary stigma around public breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is not hygienic
Some people view breast milk as just another bodily fluid, comparing it to urine and arguing that you wouldn’t urinate in public. However, this is obviously not a valid comparison. Breast milk is a perfectly hygienic substance, not associated with waste or illness.
A common belief is that while women are allowed to breastfeed outside of the pool, they shouldn’t breastfeed in the pool. When you consider how much sweat, bacteria, urine, skin cells, and other bodily substances are already in the water, it seems ridiculous to say that new mothers shouldn’t be allowed to breastfeed in a public pool. After all, breast milk isn’t harmful, and it’s an essential part of caring for a baby, not a medical condition.
What are the positives on breastfeeding in public?
This study showed that mothers who didn’t breastfeed in public were more likely to stop breastfeeding early. Breastfeeding, especially with a newborn, needs to happen frequently. It becomes really difficult to leave the house if you don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. Social isolation is the last thing we should encourage among new mothers. That’s why it’s so important for every woman to feel confident breastfeeding wherever she is.
If you choose to breastfeed publicly, you can set an example for other moms who are still adjusting to this concept. I vividly remember a maternity visit where a breastfeeding woman was openly feeding her baby without any attempt at discretion. She was an inspiration to me, and many years later, when I became a mom, I remembered her example and never felt ashamed to feed my hungry baby in public. If people don’t want to see it, they can simply look the other way.
Breastfeeding in public doesn’t always mean exposing your breast; it can simply mean feeding your baby. But if you’re not comfortable, you have the option to use a cover or clothes that help you nurse more discreetly. The benefits of breastfeeding are clear, and it’s vital for infant health—nursing mothers should feel empowered to feed their babies anywhere, anytime.
How to get confident to (discreetly) breastfeed in public
For me, simply breastfeeding regularly gave me the confidence to continue. I experienced little to no reaction from my surroundings, and that definitely helped. Before I breastfed my baby in public, I never saw anyone else doing it. But as I became more aware, I now see women everywhere breastfeeding their little ones, more or less discreetly, in public.
I was the first in my family to have a baby. As my sisters had babies too, it felt easier for me. If you’re uncertain, try connecting with other moms to share stories and encouragement.
It’s also helpful to talk to your husband, close family, and friends about it. With their support, you’ll feel more confident about breastfeeding in public, too.
For me, breastfeeding discreetly also boosted my confidence. I simply didn’t feel comfortable showing too much of my breasts to strangers (or even people I know!). Keep reading as I share 10 tips on how to breastfeed discreetly in public—especially for first-time moms, and for easy access to your baby when you’re out and about.
10 tips to discreetly breastfeed in public
With these 10 tips, breastfeeding in public should become easier, especially if you feel most comfortable doing it discreetly.
- Practice at home – Get comfortable with breastfeeding before you venture out in public.
- Look for a comfortable place to breastfeed – Find a spot where you feel at ease.
- Practice breastfeeding while standing – This helps when you need to feed on the go.
- Practice breastfeeding in a baby carrier – It makes feeding easier while keeping your hands free.
- Use clothes that make breastfeeding easier – Choose outfits that offer easy access and comfort.
- Use a light blanket or burp cloth as a cover – This provides extra privacy if needed.
- Ask facilities if they have a breastfeeding space – Some places have designated areas for nursing mothers.
- Start with breastfeeding-friendly locations – Choose places that are welcoming and comfortable.
- Go with someone who supports you – Having a supportive friend or family member can boost your confidence.
- Try to focus on your baby – Remember, your attention should be on your baby, not on the people around you.
With practice, it’ll get easier, and soon you’ll feel confident nursing wherever you are.
1. Practice discreet breastfeeding at home
If you’re experienced at breastfeeding discreetly at home, it will be easier for you to do so in public places. Try using one nursing session each day to practice some of my tips until you feel fully confident. On the other hand, don’t aim for perfection when you practice. After all, you’re new to this, and learning may come with some uncomfortable moments.
You can start by practicing in front of a mirror to check your positioning and comfort. As you gain confidence, try breastfeeding in front of others, whether at home or in low-pressure settings, to build your comfort and ease in public.
If you want to learn more about letting go of perfectionism as a new mom, read more here.
2, Look for comfortable places to breastfeed
When you’re out, look for a quiet corner, a nice bench, or even your car to breastfeed between activities. Being in a comfortable space makes breastfeeding in public much easier. Often, department stores, shopping centres, or shopping malls have comfy spots to breastfeed if you look for them. A peaceful spot away from the general public can help you feel more relaxed and confident while nursing.
3. Practice breastfeeding while standing
When I was only a few weeks postpartum, I heard another mom say she had to breastfeed her baby standing and walking to calm her down. I never knew that was even possible! If you’re in a busy place with no comfortable corner, being able to breastfeed while standing can be helpful. Practice it when you’re breastfeeding your baby in a sitting position. Once she’s latched, try to stand up while holding her close to your belly. Especially with newborns, they’re typically light enough for this to be manageable. Breastfeeding can easily be done in public buildings or anywhere in town when you simply stand in a corner, with your baby’s face hidden from view.
4. Practice breastfeeding your baby in the baby carrier
This trick is something I learned on social media, and it actually works really well. Once your baby is able to hold their own head, you can place them on your belly in a structured baby carrier. Loosen the carrier so your baby drops lower, then position your breast so they can reach it. If your baby isn’t as strong yet, you might find it easier to adjust a baby wrap to get them into a position where they can nurse. This makes breastfeeding discreetly in public easier because the carrier hides some of your skin.
However, only do this when your baby has neck stability, otherwise there’s a risk of them not getting enough air. As your baby gets older and stronger, you’ll likely no longer need to support their head or your breast, allowing you to breastfeed hands-free while walking! This is a great solution for avoiding uncomfortable breastfeeding positions.
5. Use clothes that make discreetly breastfeeding in public easier
Clothes really make a difference when it comes to breastfeeding in public. There’s one rule I try to follow: I always wear something that folds up and something that folds down. For example, if I wear a loose top that I pull up to nurse, I pair it with a nursing top that I pull down. This way, my shoulder and belly stay covered. If you have clothes that pull down, consider wearing a high crop tank top underneath for extra coverage.
Read on as I share more tips further down the blog about how to breastfeed discreetly in public while wearing a dress.
6. Use a light blanket or burp cloth as a cover
If you want to cover up completely and your newborn no longer needs help with latching, you can use a cover like this (no ad). Personally, I never used a cover, but it can be helpful to have a light blanket or burp cloth on hand. That way, you can cover up a little if your clothes aren’t perfectly suited for breastfeeding.
7. Ask facilities if they have a space where you can breastfeed
Many facilities will be happy to provide a private location for you to breastfeed. While they may not have a room specifically designed for it, often people are willing to help if they can. Asking never hurts, and it can sometimes make it possible for a nursing mom to breastfeed in a quiet area. You could even ask to use a dressing room or a lactation room if available, for a more private and comfortable experience.
8. Start with breastfeeding friendly locations
Going out for the first few times can be stressful enough with a newborn. The best way to ease into it is to choose breastfeeding-friendly locations, at least for the first few times. This ensures you’re in a comfortable environment with the right temperature, making the experience a lot easier for both you and your baby.
9. Go together with someone that supports you in (discreetly) breastfeed in public
If you’re a little uncertain yourself, you shouldn’t choose someone who gets nervous or ashamed about you breastfeeding in front of other people. Take someone with you who supports breastfeeding in public. This person should be someone who can help you manage the situation in a way you feel comfortable with. It might not always be your husband, as he may not have experienced it before, but your mom or an older friend who can give you tips as you go could be a great source of social support.
10. Try to focus on your baby rather than all the people around you
Lastly, I want to encourage you to not pay too much attention to anyone else. When we do something we’re not confident about, we often think the whole world is looking. But that’s usually not true at all. Many times, people don’t even notice! I had several occasions where I was nursing my baby, and people came up to chat, even patting and kissing my baby, until they realized I was breastfeeding. Try to focus on the well-being of yourself and your little precious newborn, rather than your surroundings.
How can I discreetly breastfeed in public with a nipple shield?
If your baby latches fairly independently, it can be easy to latch, cover up, and you’re good to go. However, using a nipple shield and then trying to latch your baby is the exact opposite of discretion. I used nipple shields in the beginning and have some tips on how to use them so they don’t fall off easily and you can install them quickly.
Whenever you want to breastfeed really discreetly in public, it can be helpful if someone assists you by holding the baby until you’re ready.
To make it easier, fold your nipple shield a little bit inside out before placing it on your nipple. This creates a vacuum that helps hold the shield better, allowing you to position it under loose clothing before bringing your baby to the breast. I recommend removing as many layers of clothing as possible and then installing the shield under the last layer. Once it’s in place, hold your baby with one arm, then uncover your breast as you would without the nipple shield.
Best breastfeeding positions in public without a pillow
If you want to discreetly breastfeed in public, you likely won’t have a large nursing pillow with you. As mentioned earlier, nursing while standing gives you the flexibility to stand wherever it’s quiet when you’re out and about. However, this might be tricky if you’re using a nipple shield or not fully recovered to hold your newborn for an extended period of time.
An easy alternative breastfeeding position is the common cradle hold. If you’re not comfortable holding your baby for long, try propping them up a little by placing something on your lap. You can use your diaper bag, a scarf, or even cross your legs to help take off some of the weight and make it easier to hold your baby.
Which clothes/cover do I need to discreetly breastfeed in public?
Earlier, I mentioned my clothing rule for breastfeeding: wear something you can pull up and something you can pull down. Most of the time, you won’t need to buy “breastfeeding-friendly” clothes designed to pop out a boob at all times. I invested in a few nursing tops that pull down easily, along with some high crop tops that I can pull up. These are fairly inexpensive and pair well with most outfits, making it simple and practical for breastfeeding on the go.
If you want to nurse, I’d recommend buying a nursing bra. Most likely, you won’t fit into your regular bras anyway. Your breasts will grow during pregnancy and even more after birth when your milk comes in. In my experience, the size you have before giving birth is the size you’ll keep once the engorgement after birth goes down. Invest in two good-quality bras. By the end of my pregnancy, I could barely fit into any bras because my ribs were sticking out so much from all the organs making room for my baby girl. Keep in mind that many bras have adjustable bands at the back. If you find a style that feels a little tight before birth, you’ll probably fit it perfectly after.
Most babies don’t love being covered while breastfeeding. If you choose to wear a cover, I’d recommend one that ties around your neck. This way, if your baby pulls, it stays in place. Also, consider buying a cover made from organic cotton since it will be in direct contact with your baby often.
How can I discreetly breastfeed in public wearing a dress?
Finding dresses that are suitable for breastfeeding isn’t always easy, but here are my tips:
- Button dress
- High-waisted skirt
- Short dresses
- Elastic neckline
Dresses with buttons around the chest that open up make it easy to nurse. I like wearing a high crop top under such a dress to stay more covered when I button it back up.
Skirts in general offer the same easy system as pants. If you choose a high-waisted skirt, it automatically keeps your belly covered when you pull up the shirt underneath the skirt.
If your dress is short enough, you can wear leggings underneath. This way, you can pull it up like a sweater for easy breastfeeding access.
Last but not least, elastic necklines. If the neckline is stretchy enough to pull down over one breast, it’s perfect for breastfeeding.
What are your tips and experiences with breastfeeding in public? Feel free to share them in the comments—I’d love to read all about it!
