How to be less overwhelmed as a new mom
Becoming a first-time mom brings so many changes—your body, your baby, your daily routine, and even your relationships. It can all feel so new and overwhelming! In this post, I’m sharing tips to help you focus on you as a mom, not just on your little one, and ways to feel less overwhelmed as you adjust to this beautiful new chapter.
When Will I Ever Sleep Again? Here’s What You Can Expect
One of the first things that overwhelmed me as a new mom was the sleepless nights. I’m sure many new parents can relate. If you have an older baby, you can check out my tips on sleep training here.
However, things are a bit different with a newborn. Letting them cry isn’t recommended, and it won’t reduce your stress. Research shows why newborns often struggle to sleep. A baby’s circadian rhythm, or day-night pattern, is still developing. At first, they won’t have a clear sense of night and day. They’ll likely stay awake during the day and want to sleep at all hours.
The good news? It does get better. By around 6-8 weeks after birth, most parents notice improvements. Your baby will begin to sleep a little more at night and be more awake during the day. The postpartum period can feel challenging, but hang in there—sleep will eventually come!
How to Deal with Sleep Deprivation and Feel Less Overwhelmed as a New Mom
Even though your baby’s sleep will improve eventually, you might feel like you can’t survive another sleepless night. For me, sleep deprivation wasn’t even the hardest part. Yes, I felt tired during the day, but it didn’t bother me much. What really got to me was staying awake at night while everyone else slept, with no distractions to help pass the time.
So, here are three practical tips to help you keep going:
- Sleep during the day when you can.
- Make yourself comfortable with a cozy rocking chair.
- Consider bedsharing (safely).
At first, I struggled to find time for naps during the day. Between breastfeeding, household chores, and family duties, it felt impossible. But once I made sleep a priority, I found I could fit it into my day, and it gave me that much-needed break.
Installing a comfy rocking chair and a baby swing helped me comfort my baby at night. I didn’t have to carry her around, and she cried less. This small change gave me a little more rest and made those hard nights more manageable.
Bedsharing with your baby is often seen as a risk, but it doesn’t have to be. Research-backed methods show that it can be safe for both of you. I discovered this after learning about it, and it helped me sleep better. Read my blog about bed-sharing here. Once I made this adjustment, I felt more rested and much less overwhelmed as a new mom.
Taking care of a small human is hard work, but these tips helped boost my energy levels and made the first couple of weeks easier. With enough sleep, even those tough nights felt more manageable.
Eating Healthy and Exercising as an Overwhelmed New Mom
Here are some tips to help you get those healthy calories and some movement in, even when you’re feeling overwhelmed and tired as a new mom.
- Stock up on nuts and dried berries.
- Use frozen veggies and fruit.
- Try gentle workouts in bed for your core and pelvic floor.
- Take short walks when you can.
In the first couple of weeks postpartum, I felt constantly hungry. I’d wake up in the morning while my baby slept, but I couldn’t skip breakfast. Keeping a container of nuts and dried, unsweetened berries by my bed helped me get healthy, quick calories during those late-night breastfeeding sessions without getting up. It made a big difference during those tough early weeks.
Yogurt with thawed fruits and berries is an easy way to enjoy fruit without the prep work. Frozen, pre-cut veggies are great too—just cook them and add them to a meal for a quick, healthy boost.
In those first few months, heavy exercise is not ideal. Focus on gentle exercises that restore your pelvic floor and core muscles. Many of these can be done while lying in bed, making it easier to fit in between baby care and family visits.
Lastly, even short 5-minute walks can be energizing. It’s important to rest during the first 10-14 days after birth, then start slow and listen to your body.
Taking care of your body with gentle movement and healthy foods is a wonderful thing to focus on. It can really help during those hard times of the early weeks.
Your Body is Not Yours… Yet: Embracing the New You
One of the things that overwhelmed me as a new mom was how it felt like my body still wasn’t mine. In fact, it felt less like mine than before giving birth. First off, my body didn’t even look like it used to. I wasn’t fit, and even simple tasks left me exhausted or in pain.
On top of that, I had a baby breastfeeding one-third of the day. She was literally always with me. Even though she wasn’t inside of me anymore, she was on me all the time, and I shared my bed with her at night. If that’s not overwhelming, I don’t know what is!
I want to encourage you to put things into perspective. I wrote a whole blog about learning to love your body after baby. Over time, you can accept and even love your new body, even if it’s different from before. After all, it’s still you—just in a new form.
And remember, you won’t be breastfeeding forever. Even if you choose to breastfeed for months or even years, your baby will gradually nurse less frequently and for shorter periods. My daughter, at 10 months, nurses just as often as she did at birth, but now it only takes 10 minutes. The intensity of this stage won’t last forever. Remind yourself of that timeline, and be patient with the changes.
I used to joke with my husband that, in 15 years, she probably won’t be sleeping in our bed! And though this new role can feel overwhelming, it’s all a temporary phase. Take a deep breath and trust that, in time, things will settle.
Being Overwhelmed as a New Mom and Wife: Finding Balance
Navigating your relationship with your husband in those first months after birth can be tough. On one hand, you have this beautiful little being, half you, half him—a truly amazing thing! On the other, you’re both exhausted, and you probably spend less time together than ever before.
It can feel like you’re constantly torn between competing needs. Your baby demands your attention almost every minute of the day. When your baby is asleep, your partner needs you, and then there’s the household, your job, family, friends, and hobbies. For me, it felt like I was running from one thing to the next, always busy from morning until night. ‘Me time’ was a quick 10 minutes in the shower, hoping the baby wouldn’t wake up.
It reminded me of the mom movies where actresses complain about being a maid, constantly serving others. Funny enough, I didn’t feel unhappy because of the ‘workload.’ Instead, I learned that these three things can help reduce that feeling of frustration and overwhelm when “me time” is limited.
- Choose to be grateful for the privilege of being a mom. It’s easy to get lost in the busyness, but remembering the joy of raising a new life can change your perspective.
- Avoid setting unrealistic expectations. The early days are tough, but they’re temporary. Don’t hold yourself to impossible standards.
- Try to see things in perspective. This season of your life is just that—a season. The intrusive thoughts and feelings of inadequacy will pass.
As overwhelming as it can feel, try to remember that the most important thing is your new life with your baby and partner. Even in the hardest moments, those little wins will make it all worthwhile.
Gratefulness as an Overwhelmed New Mom: Finding Balance
I truly believe that gratefulness can shift your attitude and satisfaction in all areas of life. Becoming a mom has been one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever received! Reminding yourself daily of how grateful you are can help ease some of the weight you’re carrying.
But, don’t get me wrong—there is such a thing as forced gratitude, and it doesn’t help anyone. Just because you’re grateful to be a mom doesn’t mean everything is easy or joyful all the time! It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Trying to replace those feelings with forced gratitude can lead to guilt and even more stress as a new mom.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay not to feel happy and grateful all the time. However, try to find balance. Choose someone—maybe your mom, sister, or a close friend—to talk to when you need to vent. Having someone who listens and understands can really help. Or, pick a time each day to let out your frustrations, so it doesn’t take over. By limiting complaints, you can stay honest with yourself without letting negativity dominate your mindset.
Try focusing on daily affirmations that encourage you to find the positive in each moment. In the midst of feeling overwhelmed, remembering the little things, like a change of scenery or a moment of peace, can make a big difference in your stress levels.
Even as new mothers or new mums with little time for ourselves, it’s vital to take a moment to be present and appreciate the small things.
Try to think daily about affirmations that encourage you to focus on the positive. Download my free template for daily affirmations,
What Are Realistic Expectations as a New Mom?
Sometimes, it feels like people without children expect the worst. They imagine sleepless nights, a baby who cries all day, painful breastfeeding, and endless conversations about poopy diapers for years!
Even if you’re mentally prepared for the challenges, reality can still catch you by surprise. My advice? Let go of expectations altogether. Whether you expect things to go well or badly doesn’t change your situation. Simply accept that it is what it is for now, and you have limited control over how things will unfold in the next few months.
If something feels off, trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, take the time and energy to find a solution. Even as a first-time mom, your instincts are usually spot on. Focus on letting go of the things that are uncomfortable but not abnormal.
It’s easy to get caught up in social media, household chores, and family member opinions. But remember, being the “best mom” doesn’t mean you need to do it all. Embrace the moments of new mom stress, and try not to compare yourself to others. You’re doing great just by being present for your baby!
Seeing Things in Perspective as an Overwhelmed New Mom
When nothing seems to change the current situation, it can help to shift your perspective. Those minutes drag on when you’re rocking your baby at 3 a.m., desperately trying to get some sleep. But looking back, the weeks and months with your newborn will seem to have flown by.
Try to imagine how life will look in a few years—or even 10 or 20 years—from now, with this little bundle of joy. A YouTuber I follow once said that her life feels full right now, but in the future, she envisions a kitchen table full of children, children-in-law, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. When you keep your long-term goals and vision in mind, the challenges of new motherhood can feel less burdensome.
It’s easy to get caught up in high expectations for yourself, but take a step back. The present moments may feel overwhelming, but they’re just a small part of the beautiful story of your family.
Dealing with Anxiety as a New Mom
Did you know that 1 in 5 women experiences postpartum anxiety? That’s a significant number! Even if you don’t have an anxiety disorder, the arrival of a new, vulnerable life can unlock fears you didn’t expect.
As a new mom, there are endless opportunities to worry. The responsibility of caring for a baby who is completely dependent on you, especially in those first weeks, is overwhelming. It’s completely normal to feel anxious.
Talking about your feelings with your husband, family, or close friends can really help. Simply expressing those worries out loud can ease some of the pressure. One of the things that helped me was praying about my fears. Turning to God gave me the reassurance that He’s watching over my baby, caring for her even more than I do. A verse from the Bible that brings me comfort is:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
This reminder gives me trust that I’m not alone in caring for and protecting my little one. If you find it comforting, pin this verse near your changing table to remind yourself daily.
It’s also important to seek emotional support, whether through support groups, talking to a close friend, or even professional help if needed. Anxiety, mood swings, and even baby blues are normal, but they can also be signs of postpartum depression or other mental health problems. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.
What helps you when you’re feeling overwhelmed as a new mom? Share your tips in the comments—I’d love to hear how you cope!
