How to deal with unwanted gifts for your children

Christmas season and birthdays often bring in presents that don’t fit into your ideas for your kids. Read along to get inspiration on how to deal with unwanted gifts for your children. In short: handle them with gratitude, patience and perspective.

First of all: what gifts do you want?

If you never thought about that before your child unwraps her presents pause for a second. What are gifts you like?

Sometimes it can help to prepare mentally to a birthday or Christmas. Ask yourself? What is actually the kind of gift that I would like to receive for my kids? What is age appropriate, interesting and aligning with my parenting philosophy?

Knowing what you like can be a good starting point in navigating this question.

According to this statistics 40% of parents plan on spending more than 100 dollars for gifts PER CHILD. That’s wild to me considering that other people will also gift your kids. Sometimes all gifts can be a struggle as Christmas get’s more and more just about gifts. Read here about how we celebrate Christmas as a christian family.

Is it okey to not want gifts in the first place?

The whole question of unwanted gifts can lead to heated discussions. Is it even okey to call presents an unwanted gifts for your children?

We will speak about gratitude and everything later but let me say: Yes! Of course it is okey to not want a present! I mean people can give all kind of stuff to you or our kids that might be harmful to them. There are guidelines for children for screen time and sugar for example not for nothing. You are not a terrible person if you don’t feel grateful for a gift.

Prepare in advance to prevent unwanted gifts for your children

There is a lot you can do to make sure you don’t get into such a situation in the first place. Let you friends and family know in advance what kind of presents you like. It mostly comes better from a point where you share gift ideas you like than from a point where you share gift ideas you don’t like.

Write down the things that you like. Maybe there is a good time to share your wishes upcoming to the event. When you plan a birthday party it might go easily with the invitation. With Christmas it can be more difficult to find the right moment to address it but those words might help:

1. I found this amazing thing on amazon. I think my baby would really enjoy this as a Christmas gift!
2. We actually still need this thing for our toddler. It would be great if someone could gift him that for his birthday.

This might work well with people and events where you expect a present. But unwanted gifts for your children often come in moments you were not prepared. If there are people in your circle that gift your children more often it might be the better option to tell them what you don’t like. This way they can look for items themselves that would fit into this description.

Try to be a good example to your children

Try to think about how you want to react and handle unwanted gifts for your children before they actually receive them. The way you react to the presents will teach your children a greater lesson on how to accept presents than any words you could use.

If you want your children to accept presents and be grateful for what they’ve got maybe that’s exactly what you should do. If you rather want to show them a way to respectfully return a present – go right ahead. Either way be aware that this is not just about you and the present but that you are watched and studied even if your child is still a baby.

Try to be grateful even if the gifts for your children might be unwanted

Now we come to the side that gratefulness is an important step in dealing with unwanted presents for your kids. Even if you choose to turn down a present always remember to speak gratefully about the giver. After all the person that took the effort to get your kids something surely is worth this gratefulness.

Try to use phrases like:

1. It is so amazing that we are blessed with aunty that cares so much that she picks a present for you.
2. It is a try blessing that we had all those presents today.
3. How can we return this blessing to others? (haha in returning the unwanted gift to a thrift shop… 😉 )

The way you chose to talk about the giver will likely have an even greater impact on your kids than the gift itself.

If gifts are not only unwanted but a BIG no-no try this

Some gifts are simply not aligning with our taste. Others are items we definitely don’t want to use in our house. Imagine your toddler gets a war set with all kinds of guns, or a tablet if you do no screens etc. Sometimes we really don’t want to have something near our kids. In this case it can be helpful to be clear about it in front of the giver and your child. Don’t lie about using it if you really don’t.

Sometimes if is enough if we are a little more tactful about it. Here are my tips:

1. Speak in not yet language
2. Save items for later or other purposes
3. Speak about interest of the child rather than your opinion of the present

Let’s say you get some kind of screen you actually think your child is still too young for. Try to frame it this way: ‘This tablet is something she might not be able to use yet. We can use it for drawing in the car though as soon as she is a little older.

Or try something like that: ‘I feel like she get’s easily overwhelmed with screens still. Maybe she will be able to use it when she is a little older’.

Are those unwanted gifts for your children will ruin everything? See things in perspective

Sometimes your children get presents that you would never buy but are also not completely against the rules. For our household an example would be loud, plastic button toys. I wouldn’t purchase one but this is a often gifted item for little kids. Of course you can take the batteries out. But even if you don’t do that. Is it really going to ruin all your efforts to lead your kids to engaged play? Imagine a variety of toys that align with your ideas of play and then this one button toy. Long term it might just not be as bad as you feel about it.

Another way to think about it is that it’s not fully your choice to make. After all it is a gift to your child. If it is not actually against any rules in your home why don’t let the child have it this ones? If you want to let your child have it only for a short time keep reading as I share how to get rid of unwanted gifts for your children the nice way.

How to get rid of unwanted gifts for your children in a respectful way

If you choose to give away a unwanted gift for your children there are several good things you can do with them:

1. Bring it to a second hand store with a good cause
2. Put it in Christmas gift boxes of a charity
3. Donate it to a gift library
4. Donate it to a day care
5. Sell it second hand and buy your child a suitable gift with the money
6. If you have the recite: hurry and bring it back to the store!
7. Donate it to someone in your environment that would actually like it

If you practice toy rotation it might be a good way to hide the gift for some weeks. If your children don’t ask for it, it is safe to repurpose it. With older children it can be a nice practice to donate it together with them to children that need it more. This is especially a good thing if the giver knows that you will eventually donate it.

I hope that some of those tips will help you do deal with the unwanted gifts for your children. Remember: it happens to all of us. Use it as an opportunity to teach your kids gratefulness. What are your go to’s with unwanted gifts? Leave a reply I would love to read all about it!