How to be a stay at home mom when you can’t afford it
Many of my mom friends would like to stay home with their kids at least when they are very small. But how can you be a stay at home mom when you can’t afford it? In this blog I share my practical tips on how to live frugally and make money while staying at home along with encouragement to keep you going.
Why is it difficult to afford being a stay at home mom?
The obvious answer to that question is: because you miss an income if only dad is working and mom stays home. But the questions behind is actually: why is a single income not sufficient anymore to provide for a family?
There are different answers to this question depending on your perspective. One could say that the inflation rises faster than our salaries or simply that the work is paid worse than back in the days. But I believe both those reasons don’t fully cover the answer.
Where women stay at home moms ‘back in the days’?
Even if I didn’t live a century back I remember from history class that women were used to work along with their husbands for a very long time. Work might have looked different than today but in many cases middle class women doing paid work too in order to afford a living.
I think about my grandma working as a night shift nurse back in the 1950s. Even though many women did stay home it surely wasn’t a possibility for all. Even when I think about the ‘little house on the prairie’ series the mom Caroline used to raise chicken and sell their eggs, repair clothes for other people, clean, teach and cook in paid positions when finances were tight. Often times stay at home moms were contributing to an income.
As I read the bible it seems that the example of the woman in proverbs 31 suggests that as well.
13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
Proverbs 31
16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.
Reading those verses being a work from home mom might not be so modern after all. Even if money and its value as well as living standards changed a lot, women often had to contribute to a living for the family. And so can you!
Is feminisme the problem that we cannot afford being a stay at home mom?
Even if women used to contribute to family income in some cases throughout history something might have changed after all. Some people make the case that incomes started dropping when women entered the workforce demanding same pay for same work. It seems logical too that if you have to pay many more people doing work less money might go to each person.
There might be some truth to it. If you wanted to get a mortgage for a house in the 1950s the women’s salary often times was not taken into account. Simply because people assumes that she would get kids and stopped earning as much anyways. But since women entered the workforce making money for themselves their income was considered which made it possible to get much higher mortgages. This way houses became more expensive making it almost impossible to buy on one income these days. So if you want to afford a house being a stay at home mom could be a challenge due to feminisme.
Is it realistic to be able to afford being a stay at home mom in 2024?
Many women face the problem that they have to work in order to afford live regardless of their wish to be a stay at home mom or not. I believe though that it totally is realistic to be a stay at home mom even in these days! Let me share how.
The first thing when I think about our lives and stay at home moms is the standard of living we are used to. According to data from the NAHB analysis the average single family house in the fourth quarter of 2023 in the US was 2,419 square feet (225 square meter)! According to a recent analysis almost 92% of households own a car, 37% own two. Owning a new car costs $1,015 a month according to AAA. According to Smart TV report the average household owns 2.9 TVs in the US and more than 7 screens (source)! I could go on and on with this list but my point is: we cannot live on less money but keep all our luxury.
The second thought I have for women who want to afford being a stay at home mom is the following. Consider yourself a work from home rather than a stay at home mom. Even if it is a little, you can make some money AND stay home with the kids.
Read along as I share practical tips on how to live more frugal and make money while staying home.
Top 5 tips to save money as a stay at home mom
If you want to save money in the short and long run those 5 tips a habit:
- Make a budget
- Eat and drink at home and save money on groceries
- Buy good quality items second hand
- Make DIYs and use free stuff
- Go on cheap holidays
Make a budget to see if you can afford being a stay at home mom
Making a budget is definitely the most important step to live more frugal. To make a budget look back on the last 6 months. In which category did you spend how much? Where could you cut a little out? What is a realistic budget for each category?
If you have a budget you know exactly how much you can spend on what and some purchases will just not happen simply because you don’t have the money to do them.
In the end it might be more achievable to be a stay at home mom than you think. Look for yourself what you can afford!
Eat and drink at home
Eating out, ordering foor or getting your coffee at the local shop are huge money burners. Cook at home and cook from scratch. Read my tips on how to save money on groceries here.
Buy items second hand
I made a habit of only buying things new if we really need them and I cannot find it second hand. Especially baby and children items are so easy to buy used. I often look for a good quality product online or in the store and then search for it second hand. Be smart with picking the items up at someone’s place. Sometimes it might save you money to pay for delivery rather than driving far to get something. As a family we buy small things second hand as our baby bed, carrier, clothes, cloth diapars and more. But we also choose to buy our phones, laptop and even car second hand. It might be a little older but most of the time still has a long life ahead and is much cheaper too.
DIY and free materials
Renovations and custom made items are usually cheaper to do it yourself. But pay close attention to the money you invest into materials. Sometimes you can be worse off buying materials and making something yourself (think about prices for clothes and fabric). In the best case scenario you can use free, used materials and make your DIY to save a lot of money.
You can afford cheap vacations as a stay at home mom
If you go on vacations consider to keep them as cheap as possible. We enjoy our camping vacations where we drive to a beautiful place, live in our tent and enjoy free activities in nature.
5 ideas to make money staying at home
Most of us can live frugally and still not afford to be a stay at home mom. Here are some ideas to make money while you stay at home with your kids.
- Home daycare
- Pet sit
- Online payed work
- Sell home made items
- Rent your care / home / other items
There are many ways to make money while being home with the kids. You can welcome other children or pets into your home to sit. You might be able to rent out a room in your house or rent your car, or other items in order to make a little side income. You can even start a business selling home made items as soap. Reselling items can be profitable too, think about secondhand items that you can buy for little and sell for a little more. Finally there are many options to work a payed job from home. Inform yourself what kind of training or experience you need for such work.
Encouragement to follow your calling
I truly believe that we are all called to be the best wife’s and moms we can be. This can look different for every woman. Often there is no one size fits all solution if you want to be a stay at home mom and it seems that you cannot afford it. But I want to encourage you: If you feel that your calling is to be a stay at home mom trust that God will help you to afford this goal.
For our family it was best to have a second income for some more years. Therefore I decided to get a job where I could at least partially work from home. That way we split the care of our daughter between my husband who works form home at some days and me working from home at some days too.
Even if this is not always easy it works for now and I am grateful to have this opportunity. Find a solution that serves your family in the best way. And then trust that the Lord will bless it!
Philippians 4:13
What are your experiences and struggles when you want to afford being a stay at home mom? Share your story and tips in the comments. I would love to read all about it!
