How to discreetly breastfeed newborn in public with/without cover

If you are not comfortable nursing in public as a new mom you can get isolated quickly. In this blog I share tips on how to discreetly breastfeed your newborn in public with and also without cover.

Is nursing in public normal?

Even before I gave birth I thought about how I would handle the public breastfeeding. The opinions vary a lot between generations, cultures and even sub-cultural groups. I asked myself: why shouldn’t it be normal to breastfeed your baby when they are hungry and you’re in public?

Is it normal though? In Sue Cox’s book ,breastfeeding with confidence’ she estimates that almost two third of mothers worldwide have breastfed publicly. What is normal or not varies very much depending where you live. In the global south breastfeeding in public is more excepted than in other parts of the world. Even if it is not normal in some cultures to even discreetly breastfeed in public ask yourself why shouldn’t it be? In some countries public breastfeeding is more common than in others, but I could not find any country that banned public breastfeeding completely. In more conservative culture’s there are rooms where mothers can nurse and change their babies.

Many western countries do have laws to explicitly allow moms to nurse their babies in public. This goes along with the goal to promote the WHO recommendations for breastfeeding. Here you can find the international breastfeeding scorecard. There are international goals that breastfeeding should increase. And even if the goals aren’t met there is an 10% increase of breastfeed babies at 6 months compared to 10 years ago.

Why are some people against breastfeeding in public?

There are many different arguments that all don’t sound very strong to me. This study lists some interesting factors research found that were hindering women to breastfeed in public. I listed four of the common arguments I hear a lot under here.

People don’t want to see exposed breasts

Let’s start with the obvious. People against (even discreetly) breastfeeding in public are upset by the boobs. If you feed your newborn you likely have to help them find your nipple to latch and some exposure of your breast will happen. The general baseline of what people with this argument say is that they cannot enjoy whatever they are doing in that moment when they are distracted from a woman showing off her breast. You could argue that this is no argument if you discreetly breastfeed in public maybe even using a cover.

This is a problem only because breasts are highly sexualized. For several years Facebook banned pictures of mothers breastfeeding because they would show some uncovered breast. That was even the case when the head of the baby would cover the nipple. Right now their guideline encourages mothers to breastfeed and are ‘happy that mothers want to share their experience with others on Facebook.

In my opinion it is ridiculous that naked women are everywhere in movies, shows, advertisement, on magazines and as soon as someone shows there breast for what they are actually made for people start complaining. In this study researchers found that even if women are ‘allowed’ to breastfeed in public they are told to do so discreetly with as little exposure as possible.

Breastfeeding should be a moment between mother and child

The next argument against breastfeeding in public I heard several times is that this should be a private moment of bonding between mother and child. Feeding them in public, discreetly or not, will ruin this moment that is only meant for the mother and child.

I didn’t do it so no one should

Another argument I heard a lot is simply: ‘I (or in some cases my wife) also never breastfed in public’. Their thought is that it is not necessary to do so and therefore something you shouldn’t bother others with.

Breastfeeding is not hygienic

Some people look at breastmilk as any other bodily fluid. They compare it with urine and argue that you also will not urinate in public. There has to be said that this obviously is not a good comparison what so ever. Breastmilk is a perfectly hygienic substance, not associated with waste or illness. Women are allowed to breastfeed outside of the pool, but should not breastfeed in the pool people believe. If you think about how many sweat, bacteria, urine, skin cells and other bodily substances float in the water it is ridiculous to say that women should not be allowed breastfeeding in a pool.

What are the positives on breastfeeding in public?

This study showed that mothers who did not breastfeed in public were more likely to stop breastfeeding early. Breastfeeding has to happen frequently especially with a newborn. It get’s really difficult to leave the house at all if you don’t breastfeed in public. Social isolation is the last thing we have to stimulate among new moms. Therefore I think it is really important that every women feels confident to breastfeed wherever they are.

If you choose to breastfeed publicly you can be an example to other moms who are just not yet used to this concept. I vividly remember going to a maternity visit where a mom was openly and not discreetly at all breastfeeding her newborn. She was such an inspiration to me many years later when I become a mom to not be ashamed of feeding your child. If people don’t want to see it they have the right to look in the other direction.

Breastfeeding in public can be simply through getting a breast out and feeding your baby. But you have the choice to minimize what other people see too. If you are not comfortable you can use a cover or clothes that help you breastfeed more discreetly.

How to get confident to (discreetly) breastfeed in public

For me simply doing it regularly gave me confidence to continue. I experienced little to no reaction of my surroundings and that definitely helped as well. Before I breastfed my baby in public I never saw someone else doing it. But because I got more aware I now see women everywhere breastfeeding there little ones more or less discreetly in public.

I was the first in my family having a baby. As my sisters got babies too I felt that it got easier as well. If you are uncertain about it try to connect with other moms in order to exchange stories and encouragement.

Try to speak with your husband, close family and friends about it. Having their support you will more likely feel confident to start breastfeeding in public too.

For me breastfeeding discreetly also boosted my confidence. I simply didn’t feel comfortable showing too much of my breasts to strangers (and people I know!). Read along as I share 10 tips on how to breastfeed discreetly in public.

10 tips to discreetly breastfeed in public

With this 10 tips it should get easier to breastfeed in public especially if you feel most comfortable doing it discreetly.

1. Practice at home
2. Look for a comfortable place to breastfeed
3. Practice breastfeeding while standing
4. Practice breastfeeding your baby in the baby carrier
5. Use clothes that make discreetly breastfeeding easier
6. Use a light blanket or burp cloth as a cover
7. Ask facilities if they have a space where you can breastfeed
8. Start with breastfeeding friendly locations
9. Go together with someone that supports you
10. Try to focus on your baby rather than all the people around you

Practice discreet breastfeeding at home

If you are experienced breastfeeding discreetly at home it will be easier for you to do so in public places. Try to use one nursing session every day to practice some of my tips until you feel fully confident. At the other hand: don’t try to be over perfectionistic when you practice. After all you are new to this and learning will take uncomfortable moments. Read more about how to less perfectionist as a new mom here.

Look for comfortable places to breastfeed

If you are somewhere look for a quiet corner, a nice bench or even your car so breastfeed between activities. Being in a comfortable space makes breastfeeding in public much easier.

Practice breastfeeding while standing

When I was only a few weeks postpartum I heard another mom say that she had to breastfeed her baby standing and walking in order to calm her down. I never knew that this was even possible! If you are at a busy place and there is no nice comfortable corner it can help if you are able to breastfeed standing. Practice it when you breastfeed your baby in a sitting position. If she is latched try to stand up with holding her close to your belly. Especially newborns are typically not as heavy. Breastfeeding can be easily done at any place in town when you simply stand somewhere in a corner.

Practice breastfeeding your baby in the baby carrier

This trick is something I learned on social media and it actually works really nicely. As soon as your baby is able to hold her own head you can place her on your belly in a structured baby carrier. Release the carrier that your baby starts to drop lower and then hold your breast into a position that your baby can reach it. If your baby is not as strong yet you might be able to adjust a baby wrap more easily to get him into a position that he can nurse. This way it is even easier to breastfeed discreetly in public because the carrier hides some of your skin as well. When your baby gets older and stronger you likely will not need to support her or your breast and you can breastfeed handsfree and walk all at the same time.

Use clothes that make discreetly breastfeeding in public easier

Clothes really make it or break it when it comes to breastfeeding in public. There is one rule I try to follow. I always want to wear something that folds up and something that folds down. So imagine I wear a sweater that I pull up to nurse I would pair it with a nursing top that I pull down. That way my shoulder and belly stays covered. If you have clothes that pull down consider using a high crop tank top underneath. Read along as I share more further down the blog about how to breastfeed discreetly in public wearing a dress.

Use a light blanket or burp cloth as a cover

If you want to cover up completely and your newborn needs no help with latching anymore you can use a cover such as this (no add). I never used a cover. It sure can be handy if you have a light blanket or a burp cloth. That way you can cover up a little if your clothes aren’t perfectly suited for breastfeeding.

Ask facilities if they have a space where you can breastfeed

Many facilities will be happy to provide a private room for you to breastfeed. Maybe they don’t have a room designed for it but often people want to help if they can. Asking can never hurt and makes it sometimes possible to privately breastfeed if you rather like to.

Start with breastfeeding friendly locations

Going out for the first few times can be stressful enough with a newborn. If you choose to go somewhere it might help to go to breastfeeding friendly locations at least the first few times.

Go together with someone that supports you in (discreetly) breastfeed in public

If you are a little uncertain yourself you should not pick someone that get’s nervous or ashamed about you breastfeeding in public. Take someone with you that stands behind breastfeeding in public. Maybe a person that helps you to manage it in the way you feel comfortable with. This person might but also might not be your husband since he also never experience it before. But your mom or older friend that can really give you tips on how to do it as you go.

Try to focus on your baby rather than all the people around you

Lastly I want to encourage you to not pay too much attention to anyone else. As we do something we are not confident about we think that the whole world is looking. But that is actually not true at all. Often times people don’t even notice! I had several occasions where I was nursing my baby and people came up to me talking and even padding and kissing my baby until they noticed that I was breastfeeding. Try to focus on your little precious newborn rather than your surroundings.

How can I discreetly breastfeed in public with a nipple shield?

If your baby latches fairly independently it can be easy to latch him cover up and you are good to go. Installing a nippel shield and then trying to latch your baby however is the exact opposite of discretion. I used nipple shields in the beginning and have some tips and tricks on how to use them so that they don’t fall off easily and you can install them quickly.

Whenever you want to breastfeed really discreetly in public it can be useful if someone helps you holding the baby until you are ready.

If you fold your nipple shield in a certain way and then put it on your nipple the vacuum holds the shield better on the nipple giving you the chance to install the shield under loose clothing before bringing your baby to the breast. I would in your case get all the layers of clothing off as much as possible and then install the shield under the last layer. When it is installed take your baby with one arm and then uncover the breast as you would without a nipple shield.

Best breastfeeding positions in public without a pillow

If you want to discreetly breastfeed in public you likely don’t have a huge nursing pillow with you. As described above, nursing in a standing position offers you the possibility to stand wherever it is quiet when you are out and about. However this might be tricky when you use a nipple shield or are not enough recovered to hold your newborn for a longer period of time.

Another really easy breastfeeding position then is the common cradle hold. If you are not comfortable holding your baby try to stuff something on your lab in order to bring them up a little bit so that you can release some of the weight. You can use your diaper bag, a scarf and even your crossed legs.

Which clothes/cover do I need to discreetly breastfeed in public?

Above I already explained my nursing rule for clothes. Wear something that you can pull up and something that you can pull down. Most of the times you will not need to buy ‘breastfeeding friendly’ clothes that are designed to pop out a boob at all times. I invested in some nursing tops. They pull down easily and some high crop tops that I could pull up easily. This is fairly cheap and pairs with most outfits.

If you want to nurse I would consider buying a nursing bra. Most likely you will not fit your regular bra’s anyways. Your breast will grow during pregnancy and then even more after birth when your milk comes in. In my experience the size you have before giving brith is the size you will keep after the engorgement right after birth goes away. Invest in two good quality bras. At the end of my pregnancy I barely fit any bra because my ribs were standing out so much from all the organs that made space for baby girl. Keep in mind that you can adjust your bra at the back. If you find a model that fits a little tight before birth, you will likely fit it perfectly right after.

Most babies don’t love to be covered for breastfeeding. You choose to wear a cover, I would recommend you one that closes around your neck. If baby pulls it stays right where it needs to be. Further more I would buy a cover from organic cotton since it will be in direct contact with your baby a lot.

How can I discreetly breastfeed in public wearing a dress?

Finding dresses that are suitable for breastfeeding is not always an easy thing! Here are my tips:

1. Button dress
2. High waist skirt
3. Short dresses
4. Elastic neckline

Dresses that have buttons around the chest and open up are an easy way to open a dress to nurse. I like to wear a high crop top under such a dress in order to keep more covered when I button it up.

Skirts in general provide the same easy system you have with pants. If you choose a high waist skirt you automatically keep your belly covered when pulling up the shirt underneath the skirt.

If you dress is short enough you can wear it with leggings underneath. That way you can pull it up kind of like a sweater.

Last but not least are elastic necklines. If the neckline is elastic enough to pull down over one breast it is suited to breastfeed.

What are your tips and experiences when it comes to public breastfeeding? Share it in the comments I would love to read all about it!